Gensokyo 20XXIII: Revelations and the War Amongst Fantasy Lands
by Amoridere
Summary: This is the third in the main storyline and it goes over what wasn't gone over in 20XXI and 20XXII in an impending World War III
1. Reimu's Youkai Status

Life in this little village at the best is rather nice, though, on the radio, I have heard news of missiles perhaps being launched against the US coast from North Korea._ US, North Korea, are those fantasy lands?_ As I think of some sort of impending crisis, I cannot help but to flashback to the time where we were imprisoned and that time where we were on the run. On the note, I thought about Reimu's handicap. To think she could have perished from that fall that rendered her legs useless. Poor ducksie! Of course, times had gotten so worse that we all were driven to places in which we are not proud and did things in which we are not proud of. However, the fall she took is one no human child would have survived and she was imprisoned with us, so, odds are, she is a youkai or to the least a hanyo. On that note, I haven't noticed her getting sick or anything, let alone bruised. If Reimu dear had died, Ran most likely will have killed herself once her babies were older as atonement for what happened. If she is a either of the two then that will be a fair reason as to why she was imprisoned along with us and why it is she was not taken from us. Then again, a little while ago, some of these men in white came and left with a small baggie of her hair and vial of her blood. According to Ran, she showed no fear towards and didn't put up any sort of protest. At least, thank heavens, they didn't take her but maybe they wanted to test their theories on whether or not she is a youkai or the little white haired girl that was "stolen" by youkai.

If Reimu truly is a youkai, then I wouldn't be too surprised. After all, the dear has been around youkai and has had a yearning to become one, so who's to say she hadn't? Apparently, they were, as they the same to some of us that looked human. Peculiar, yes.

As I muse, I hear Shimmy tells me she heard something interesting on the radio. Hmm, I wonder what it was. Well, it will do no use sitting around and waiting.

* * *

"They say the US and North K. are fighting some kind of projectiles, do you suppose they are anything like danmaku?"

"No, the kind of danmaku they have will mean greater casualties is what, uh, Yuuka would say. Anyway, I was thinking of something else."

"Hmm, what was it Huzi?"

"I thinking about Chen being blinded out of mercy and what the hell kind of mercy is that?"


	2. What the hell kind of mercy is that?

Huzi and I think the thought of two apparent fantasy lands fighting is very strange, all the while interesting. Of course, she also finds the thought of blinding someone out of mercy to be even more baffling and doesn't see any mercy in doing so. I do remember when Huzi brought it up while we were placing some of the things we could eat and share in a jar and as we were talking about whether or not warfare is the same as it would be Gensokyo. She asked the question, **_"I was thinking about Chen being blinded out of mercy and what the hell kind of mercy is that?"_** I thought about what she said and couldn't seem to find an answer to her question. I suppose blinding someone isn't mercy at all, rather, it could inflict more suffering, thus killing would be more humane, as it eliminates any sort of suffering that is or may come to the person. In blinding Chen, the person ignored the fact that she could be captured if blind and put through hell regardless, as they've captured Reimu, who can't walk, too, and put her through hell. Of course, the person that blinded her was unaware of that and figured they were going after any youkai that could see.

In the end, I suppose killing is more humane than blinding someone, as killing them would eliminate any sort of suffering that is to or may come to them, whereas blinding puts them in more danger. Huzi definately was right in questioning the sort of mercy in blinding someone. In that case, Chen most certainly would have been better dead, as more hardship was thrust upon her when she blinded. Hmm, should there be a missile that comes short of its target, I wonder what that could mean for Chen in devastated landscape. I guess we won't really know. Hopefully, Chen would adapt.

* * *

"Has the dear learned how to fear screams?"

"No, she hasn't."

"Hmm."

"Yes, Yuuka."

"Nothing, carry on."

"Yuuka!"

"Oh alright, I think the mental scarring is deeper than we thought.


	3. The Child Who Doesn't Sense Danger

As I prepared for the possibility of an Okuu war (that is what Yukari calls it), Yuuka asked about Reimu and whether or not the conditioning she may have undergone has started to fade. I informed her it hasn't, to which she said, "Hmm." and started to shrug it off until I insisted, to which she replied, "Oh alright, I think the mental scarring is deeper than we thought." I was shaken to my core and she seemed to be right, after all, Reimu still didn't respond to screams and she barely responds to pain. I promptly asked Yuuka to to help me to the table because I felt I was to faint. After recomposing myself, I did wonder what would be the purpose of conditioning Reimu that way and then it hit me. That fat bastard warden had her possibly reconditioned not to respond to when she would otherwise be jeopardized and, knowing what he did Yukari, he probably intended to do just as worse. I was horrified and that made me wonder, what did happen to Yume? If he had Reimu brainwashed, then what the hell happened to Yume. Since, her remains were cremated, I will never found out but, at least, I can be at peace, knowing that she died because, for her suffering throughout all of that time, death was a sweet release and with the thought of an impending Okuu war, I think it is best she doesn't live to see it.

As I wept, Yuuka did reassure me that, at least, the fat bastard went to hell and no one will hurt Reimu again.

* * *

"Patchouli, y...y...you're walking!"

"Yes, yes, I am, I still can walk, I never couldn't, what are you here for?"

"I want to know if you still had some of Eirin's leftover notes from before she died and after, after all, we entrusted them to you."

"Oh, yes, yes, I do and their in the archive, however, I will have to find the keys."


	4. Eirin's Diary

To Nitori's surprise, I had arose from my wheelchair to walk. After getting over her initial surprise, she asked about Eirin's documents before and after she died that I was entrusted to. Funny, we never did figure out why it is she commited suicide and what was it she left behind. According to Yuuka, Eirin never gave specifically any sort of reason as to why she killed herself, besides, "Is it wrong to want to feel death, even though one cannot experience it?" At least, she did die because, frankly, I wouldn't want to be around during an impending war. I wonder if she said hello to Flandre and Remilia. In thinking about her death, I wondered about what she left behind. Taking Nitori to through the archive, I come across the box of Eirin's things. As we were looking through them, we came across a book. It was no ordinary book, it was a diary. We both were surprised that she even kept a diary and, oddly, it only had about 4 entries, the fourth being longer than the rest. We were curious about this fourth entry, so we decided to read it.

_Eirin's Diary, entry 4: Finale_

_I never did think it would come to this, really. I know I can't die but, yet, I yearn to do nothing more that to do so. Nothing seems to matter anymore and I feel colder than the winter that had came. I am detached from the world and the world is just as detached from the winter. So far, I hear talk of the moving elsewhere. They can go but I will stay here, alone, for the remainder of time and moving elsewhere is going to get us captured. I shall go and take this scalpel of mine and feel death, a sweet release that only the mortals would like no more than to avoid, except in times like these. As I write, I feel the even colder tears roll down my face. I feel so cold, just so cold, even death has more warmth than this._

_I know one thing, it is sheer hell living with worries, alopecia, upsets and, now, apparently, anemia. It is sheer hell living when you get treated rather badly and do all you can but it is never enough to help or please anyone. I forgive it, after all, they are not to blame. It is sheer hell living in virtual silence, knowing that voicing your concerns could create upset. It is hell feeling helpless and cold in a winter that feels even warmer than you. It is even more hell running, knowing that you'll be captured. It is hell living in uncertainty and is even more hell knowing there is no escape. It is hell living and resenting a child that has done nothing to you but still you resent her. It is hell living and, as your hair falls out, thinking you are ugly. Hell, it is utter hell being alive and I want nothing more than be held in death's embrace!_

_I wonder how my suicide note would go. I haven't thought about how I would write it and I didn't even think to write one, but, then again, it would do no good, as I am not dying but I do wish I were. Cursed Hourai Elixir, why on earth did I create you?! I wonder what would happen if I died, really, I wonder if Kaguya would be upset that I abandoned her? At least, she and Mokou did learn how to get along so I have faith in that they will take care of each other. Ran is going to be pissed if I were to die but she'd forgive me, I know. I want nothing more than to die and, the more I want to meet death, the further away I know it is. Well, there is no harm in feeling it but I will continue to live in misery and attempt it over and over again until the end of time. I suppose I would write my suicide letter now..._

_To whoever it concerns,_  
_ This is Eirin writing and I am writing to inform you that I have passed on of my own terms. I want to sincerely inform you that I am sorry but I just couldn't go on. I just couldn't. I'm sorry, really I am, but I just couldn't live with all of this hell and uncertainty and the fact of suffering even more in captivity. I'm sorry but I just can't go on._

_Please forgive me,_  
_ Eirin._

Her journal entry was about four paragraphs and took up about two and half pages. Our eyes were filling to the brim of tears and Kaguya's eye's were, too. Mokou tried her hardest confort and succeeded. After sobbing hysterically, Kaguya walked outside, looked up at the sky, and said, "Eirin, whereever you are, I want you to know I forgive you and that you didn't abandon me."

* * *

"What do you think it'll look like?"

"I don't know, Suika, but I think it'll be very bright."

"How bright?"

"Well, I think it'll be as bright as the sun."


	5. Seven days until the nuclear strikes

Suika asked me what the blast will look like and I answered her affirmatively. I can't imagine anything being that bright but I think it is abou that bright. So far, Koishi and I have been gathering some food and clothes, placing them in boxes and burying them, so we could have them afterward. Should it be dropped that is, I wonder if we'll even survive. According to Yukari, the war that is going on cannot be won and it will only lead to more death and destruction. To think things were going to be hopeful for us but, alas, humans can be rather stupid. They never seem to learn that war brings about nothing. Not even youkai tend to kill each other this much.

As I finished the last of my preparations, Koishi alerted me to an announcement on the television.

_"Seven days until the nuclear strikes..._" was what I heard. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

"Well, Ran, what do we do?"

"I don't know, prepare, I guess."

"But it is only a matter of time."

"Yes, yes, it is and that is why I say prepare

"Inner core or refuge?"

"Yukari, you watch too many movies and we all know that making one of those might get you crushed under it as the shockwave would be enough to blow down this house. That movie was made to criticize that sort of thing.


	6. Inner Core or Refuge

Ever since we had heard news of the nuclear strikes, we opted to use the time we have left to prepare, however, Yukari, relapsing into her insanity. She suggested we build an "inner core or refuge", some kind of shelter as displayed in a movie. I did clearly remind her that doing so wouldn't help, one occasion reminding her she could be crushed and, another, stating that making that sort of thing could get one pinned under a roof beam. I wasn't going to worry of such things but I will prepare for the incoming war and Yukari can worry about building some kind shelter. Since we are youkai, we have not to worry about dying of this radiation sickness but I do think the "fallout" will probably would drive Yukari further into insanity.

Of course, Reimu is oblivious at the least and confused at the most. and I would much rather her stay that way but Chen isn't and suggest we build the shelter as part of preparations. I point out that that sort of thing is what you probably shouldn't do to which she asked, "Why?" to which I responded, "Because you are more than likely to be pinned under roof beam or be crushed inside of it because the blast would be stronger and even if it does hold, it can only fit one or two people, not more than two, let alone you, me, a litter of four, Reimu, Yukari, and Reimu's mother, plus food, a radio, a matress, and various other things we'll need." Chen suggested we could build a few, to which I responded, "We are not going all the way to a human town to buy wood and neither will I take the doors off of the house to make one and we need our doors and, besides, like I've said, that sort of thing could get you pinned under roof beam." no matter what I said, Yukari and Chen decided to build one anyway, right under a roof beam. Naturally, I said, "If you're pinned under a roof beam, then you're going to wish you hadn't been."

* * *

_"Hmm, I wonder however I shall prepare."_


	7. Yuuka's Musings

Since, there are about five or six days before nuclear strikes, I shall hurry up my preperations and compliences, then. So far, I had purchased enough food and plant seeds and stored them away. I've shoved lots of ice into the fridge in the likely event of no power and I have taken all of the thin material from the windows and stored some blankets and pillows in boxes. Of course, I know life will not be without any sort of dificulty but I am more than willing to endure it, after all, I have endured worse or what I think to be worse. Although, frankly, I would rather be no war and would write a letter to each the opposing parties but, alas, not all things can be handled diploamtically as I will have liked. Even the most wildest of youkai are more than willing to negotiate any offer if they see any sort of benefit. Aye, humans are funny sometimes, really, and they can be rather uncivil, also they kill wantonly.

The way most humans have treated us mirror how often they do to each other and, in a similar. Well, should after the blessed bombs go off that society and civilization be collapsed, we shall be civil and carry out things civily. Hopefully, though times will be civil with us, at least. I wonder what everyone else is up to.

* * *

"No!"

"Oh come on, Reimu."

"No, I no want!"

"Eh, Kagu, she don't want no bland soup that is close to hot water and salt, she wants real food!"

"Yes, I know that but we have to save our tasty food for when we need it and limit ourselves to what we have."


	8. Reimu's Linguistics

Since, Reimu wanted to visit us Ran and Yukari let her stay over for the night. Well, before the nukes start raining down, Kaguya insisted we store all of our tasty food away and opted to have bland soup. Obviously, Reimu didn't like that, actually, the only thing we've heard her say in a long time was "No!" and that was because Kagu was trying to get Reimu to eat. I couldn't help but to fnd it funny when Kagu was trying to get her to eat and then she said something else and that was, "No, I no want!" I explained that Reimu didn't want to eat no bland soup and she'd like real food. Kagu explained that we have to save our tasty food, to which I gave up but I point out that Reimu talked and usually she doesn't talk but she did. According to Ran, Reimu was, uh, re-learnin' her linguistics after spending awhile being poked and prodded with needles and then brainwashed and that was when she was, well, two, so she was still learnin' how to talk and it got derailed.

Ran also said that besides curse words, Reimu can only say a few things in sentences that make sense and the other things she says are no more than utterings that sometimes make no sense at all. It's rather weird and the number of sentences is three. When I explained that to Kagu, she pointed out that Reimu now knows four sentences because, she said, "No!" and"No, I no want." I told her Reimu saying, "No!" was an utterance but Reimu saying, "No, I no want!" was a sentence. Apparently, she got into her brain to say somethin' in protest about eating that crapass soup. As she put, she no want! When Kagu tried again, Reimu responded, "Nnnn~!"

* * *

"It's been a long time, Saku."


	9. It's been a long time, Saku

After all this time, I never thought that we'd be seeing her again. Izayoi Sakuya, the elegant maid. She looked different than before and was carrying a suitcase. Like always, her hair was neatly braided. In conjunction with also looking different, she was also different and seemed to be out of work. Going by her uniform, she was employed at some point and, for some reason, was no longer. She looked a little forlorn and had due reason to be, as it was close to war. She smoothed out her apron and started to walk about. Faintly, I could make out her voice asking the other about Flandre and I. I feel awful, really, as Flandre has passed away about a winter or so ago. I wondered if I'll even have the heart to tell her that Flandre had died. She'd find out, I know, and to withhold the truth would be cruel. After about a few hours, I heard the bell ring to my door that signals someone has come it. I turn my wheelchair and find Sakuya standing right in front of me. By the look on her face, she was fighting back tears and, before she could say a word, I said, "It's been a long time, Saku." She cracked and started to cry before asking about Flandre, to which I responded, "I'm sorry, Sakuya, Flandre has passed two winters ago." I was in tears after that, knowing we both have lost so much. The Perfect and Elegant Maid and I, The Unmoving Great Library, are both less than our former selves. We threw our arms around each other and sobbed in a each others arms.

The next hour, we were sitting in the dark, listening to the rain, and sipping tea in silence.

* * *

"WARNING! The nuclear strikes will be happening in less than five minutes, take cover immediately, do not leave your homes, and stay away from windows and doors!"


	10. The life we knew was gone

I was reading a book until spotted Huzi taking our jar of valiums and sitting in the corner. She had taken a lot of them and was fairly doped up. On the radio, **_"WARNING! The nuclear strikes will be happening in less than five minutes, take cover immediately, do not leave your homes, and stay away from windows and doors!"_** It had just occurred to me what was happening, so I darted to the corner and held onto Huzi for dear life. Within no less than two minutes, I heard a loud noise and felt an intense heat. I could smell something burning but the thing that smelled the worse was my head. I could hear things cracking and breaking apart. I heard cars skidding and crashing. I could hear pained screams. After that, it seemed I had gone numb and I smell the sickening smell of what I think to be roast meat. Of course, it smelled like no ordinary meat, rather it smelled like something's flesh and, to make it worse, where I smelled it was my head. I opened my eyes and noticed blood running down my face, prompting me to reach up and touch my head. I pulled back when I had felt blisters. At least, Huzi doesn't appear to care, well, actually, she's still a little fucked up.

Struggling to pick myself up, I managed to make it to what was only parts of our house that was intact and peer out of the doorway. With hesitance, I left the doorway and went into a deathly silent world. The sky was grey, things were burnt, and it smelled awful. I walked about and discovered Yukari to knocked out and pinned under a tree and Ran's beloved was gnawing off his leg to try and get to her. I wanted nothing more than to help them both but there would be no way I'd be strong enough to lift up the tree or pull him out. At that realization and in tears, I walked over to him, apologizing for something I didn't cause but was nevertheless repentant.

_The life we knew was gone and more suffering was to come._

* * *

"Chen, Chen, where are you?!"

"Help me!"

"Oh dear, Chen, I'm coming."


	11. Aftermath

To much my upset, one of my babies had blown away and I had no clue where Chen, Yukari, Reimu's mother, and Reimu was. Holding the remaining three of my babies, I walk about the rubble that was our house, calling out for Chen, hoping for to be alive. I walked about for about thirty or so minutes, until I heard Chen's voice saying, "Help me!" I hurried over to her and found her in the inner core or refuge and it was indeed crushed by a roof beam, thus she was pinned under a roof beam. Putting down my babies briefly, I picked up the roof beam and flung it off of her. She was uninjured aside from a bruised back. I gathered my infants into my arms and took hold of Chen's hand we proceeded to find Reimu and her mother. We later found them. Reimu's mother was severely burned but Reimu was unharmed and, actually, asleep. I was surprised she could sleep through such thing. Together, we left out house in search of survivors. We found Suika, one of her horns being gone, and my beloved desperately trying to comfort a bald and blistered Kaguya. Not too far from him, Yukari was pinned under a tree. I left Chen and my babies with my beloved and ran to throw the tree off of Yukari and arise her to consciousness. When she awoke, she said, "Are the children alright? Please tell me!" I reassured her none of them were seriously injured and that they were to be alright. She called to my attention that I was minus a baby and went off to look for her. She came back cradling her and was in tears. My little one didn't survive. With Suika, my beloved, Reimu's mother, Kaguya, Reimu, Chen, Yukari, and my babies, we went off searching for the others. We found Sakuya wheeling Patche around, Koishi walking with her sister, Tewi missing an ear and an tail, Mokou stumbling around, Yuuka walking with Kokoro, who in turn is holding Shimmy, Seija smashing up what windows that weren't melted, and everyone else injured or wasn't killed.

The neighborhood was devastated and charred and the sky was greyer. Going by the damage, the bomb had to have detonated about several miles or so away from the back parts of the neighborhood, as Mokou and Kaguya's house, Rinnosuke's shop, and Pathe's library seemed to have suffered the most damage. However, that left a question as to how many died.

* * *

"Alright, now, in light of society being unintact and the possibility of emergency services not arriving, I think we should try to rebuild ourselves and live and act civilly. Any questions?"

"Yes."

"Alright, Yuyuko dear, what is it?"

"Can we kill that motherfucker? 'Cause, that one is really gonna fuck us over and I am NOT getting fucked over, AGAIN!"


	12. The Meeting and a Little Light and Hope

"No, we can not." I answered her in regards to Seija. Frankly, I wanted to keep things intact and hope for the best, after all, in times like these we have to work and stick together. I took count of everyone that was alive and it seemed that our numbers haven't dwindled too much, well, not much lower than what we were before. Hopefully, we'll get reconstuction underway and go about what is left of our lives. As I go about the meeting, I hear little Reimu making little squeaks. She was inqiuring on something and I couldn't help but to pause the meeting and observe her little interactions with the others. She had just awakened and has proceeded to drag around, petting "puppy" (this would be Ran's beloved) and then dragging her self over to the bunny, Tewi, who had just appeared.

The child didn't seem to fathom that Tewi was injured but seemed to, without any sort of doubt, know she needed to be clung to. Without any sort of hesitance, her little hands grabbed onto Tewi and, like she would do with a stuffed animal, she seemed to cuddle her. She was surprised at, even more so when Reimu held on tighter, and sheds a few tears. She returns the actions and cheers up. After watching, I figured we should wrap the meeting up there, concluded Reimu's interactions were indeed sweet, shining a light and hope into and otherwise dark and foreboding world.

* * *

"Ran, what's for dinner?"

"Well, whatever is we have stashed but we might not be able to eat a lot though, as we may have to share."


	13. Ran's Dilemma and Yukari's Stock

The next day, after sleeping in a pile and listening to Suika scream bloody murder, we went about resuming our lives, though more or less. I am back to be wrapped in bandages as a result of burns. Every scar has a testiment, I suppose. As we go about rebuilding our lives, I cannot help but to wonder what are we to feed the children. Yukari pointed out that she can go without food and is used to doing so but states that I cannot or else my milk supply would run dry. All the while, I cannot help but to be concerned I would eat up all of the food from the other children. On top of that, we may have to share with everyone. I can't bear to hear the children's stomachs growling but all the while I cannot ignore my own. I was caught in a dilema and I couldn't help but to envy Yukari for that. She wasn't caught in this dilema and was without hesitance of going without food but I cannot go without food and will have to eat to keep my milk supply replenished, on the other hand, I could be depriving Reimu and Chen food.

As I was thinking, I couldn't help but to notice Yukari digging in the ground with her hands. From the ground, she dug up a sweet potato. It wasn't just one potato, it was multiple potatoes in that spot. Apparently, Yukari has been busy stocking up food but I cannot, for the like of me, understand why it would be potatoes. After digging in that spot, she went to dig somewhere else, revealing she had buried cans of Spam musubi and various others imperishable foods. She later moved onto another spot, revealing she had buried a first aid kit and some medicines, some of those being burn cream. She went to another spot and dug up jugs of water. No wonder she had been so busy.

* * *

"I'm so sorry, Kagu!"

"It's okay, Huzi, I'm fine, no need to feel upset. If anything, I should have taken some of those valiums myself."


	14. Huzi's Regret, Kagu's Forgiveness, and Y

I feel real bad for not at all bein' coherant when Kagu lost her hair. She was singed badly and has a blistered head. I feel terrible. I should have been coherant and I don't want nothin' more than to make it up to her. I try to my very hardest to make it up and yet I am still mad myself. I could have done somethin', something to protect her but I screwed it up. I was devastated and opted to put cream on her head, wrapping it up later. Eventually, Kagu noticed and, as I tried to say sorry, she said, "I'ts okay, I'm fine, no need to feel upset. If anything, I should have taken some of those valiums myself." She later said, "Then we could have been incoherant together."

After awhile, we wandered around, seein' how the others were doin'. Well, Yukari had the pukes and Ran was peelin' potatoes. It was pretty funny to see Yukari puking on something that was nearby and it so happened to have been that she was throwing up on Ran's lap. "Yukari, if you're going to puke, aim the other way." Ran said, pointing in the opposite direction. Yukari did aim the other way but puked on Suika's head. After a bit of watchin' her, I felt a little bad for her and thought, _What the hell is making her puke?!_

* * *

"You motherfucker! The others needed that water."


	15. First time offense my ass!

I wish Yuuka had let me kill that motherfucker and, since she didn't, well, now we have to deal with a water and food shortatage. I'm dead so I don't have to eat but the others need it and that motherfucker decided to use the water to bathe and eat half of the food. The little fucker's gained weight. I feel awful for whoever won't eat because that one had to have something to eat and then eat most of it on top of that. Motherfucker. I was very well right that we should have killed her because all she is going to do really if fuck us all over and disrupt the peace. We've just been nuked and now the motherfucker wants to fuck us over and did.

When I brought that to Yuuka's attention, she didn't really know what to do but decided to judge it as a first time offense. "It is but a first time offense, and there is still food and water but we'll have to set back some until we can obtain more food, Yuyuko dear." she said. I refused to back down and said, "Oh no! Bullshit! Listen, we either have to kill the little fucker and send her somewhere else before she makes things worse." Yuuka calmed me down and said it was just a first time offense and we'll have to shell it out. Naturally, I responded, "Okay, then, if we're going to keep her here, then she may as well be food." First time offense my ass!

* * *

"When will Yukari stop puking?"

"I don't know, Chen."

"Okay, why has Sakuya's hair been falling out for the last few days?"

"Maybe it's just stress."


	16. Though, sometimes, I wish they were here

It has been a few days since the bomb was dropped and Ran has had a lot to deal with. So far, Yukari is still throwing up and I have to remember not to sleep with my mouth open or, then again, I probably shouldn't sleep near her. It seems everyone is getting sick, as when Sakuya let me brush her hair, I felt her hair come out. I didn't want to tell her and I knew I really didn't have to as she had already knew. I couldn't see her but I could picture her without her hair. _Hmm, I wonder what kind of illness causes people to lose their hair._ If Eirin were here, she'd tell me but she isn't here anymore. If Eirin didn't kill herself, then she would be here to tell me why it is Sakuya's hair is falling out or why Yukari is throwing up. I wonder where Eirin is now. She's passed away but I cannot help but to wonder where she is. I haven't felt her presence in a long time, not since she brought Rumia and I to Aya's before she died and then Yuyuko took over.

Then again, I guess it would be better to be dead rather than alive, especially now. The world and life we knew is once again gone and Eirin was already gone. She isn't the only one that's gone. Sanae, Kanako, Suwako, Aya, Cirno, Flandre, and almost everyone else is all gone. At least, they're dead, after all, if they were alive they would wish they were dead. Since, they are dead, I wonder where they are. Are they stars in the nighttime sky or did they become fireflies or butterflies? I don't know. Maybe Yukari will tell me what become of them.

_Though, sometimes, I wish they were here..._

* * *

"Ours is without the reason why, ours is but to do or die, eh, ducksie?"

"I suppose but sometimes punishment doesn't always fit the crime."

"Yes, yes, I suppose, but we must try to live and act civily together."


	17. Yuuka's Thoughts

In light of our current situation, I think living civilly is the best, after all, we need each other and Yuyuko dear was overreacting. Yes, I suppose Seija's punishment didn't fit her crime in that no punishment at all came for her. Really, it was just a first time offense and some of us will have to go without food. Right now, I don't mind suffering through hunger and, if I really am that hungry, then I'll just eat dirt and burnt twigs, anything to conserve the food for Ducksie and the children. I can suffer it out and will have to, so will most of everyone else, except Yukari, of course, she cannot eat on the account of being sick. Blimey! I sure hope she gets well. I haven't seen her so sick and I cannot help but to wonder whether or not it is the fallout or the fading vibrations from the bomb making her ill. Of course, she's a youkai, she'll survive but I do worry for Sakuya. Her hair's coming out, a symptom from the illness caused by the fallout. I cannot remember what it was called but it was caused by fallout.

As I think of Yukari and Sakuya dear being ill, I cannot help but to worry about the children, after all, they must be frightened, especially little Shimmy. I'm surprised Reimu even slept through the entire thing. I have never heard of such a small child sleeping through that. Hmm, I should probably go and see little Reimu, see how she is managing, after all, the bomb might have set her back or, rather, accelerated her, after all, she can say about four sentences. I'll go to see her at about noon or whatever time is closest. I must see her to make sure she is alright and that she is communicating well.

* * *

"Is kitt'n?"

"Yes, Reimu, you're supposed to be a kitten and I am the cat that is supposed to take care of you."

"Nnn~!"

"Don't start."


	18. We don't bite family

Still, Reimu was trying to process language and use it. The number of sentences she can say is growing at a steady if slow pace. Ever since the bomb dropped, she has been a bit more talkative, speaking to almost anyone who so happened to be nearby, speaking various utterances, noises, and about five sentences. Recently, she seemed to have gotten in some sort of argument with Chen over playing cat and kitten. Apparently, this wasn't the first argument, as Chen had responded, "Don't start." After getting a bit frustrated, Reimu screamed and made sounds more on the lines of, "Nnnnnnnnnnn-eighnk!" I wondered what it was she said, being that I couldn't understand most of her sounds she makes but, going by the context, she was protesting what was going on and seemed to be clearly angry. I figured I should just leave them alone but I found myself rushing back to them when I heard Chen scream. To my surprise, I found Reimu had bitten her. I hadn't seen this in her before. After bandaging Chen, I reprimanded Reimu, saying, "We don't bite family." After reprimanding her, her eyes widened and then she became repentant, having understood she did something wrong, saying, "I sorry, Chen." I was surprised to hear her say yet another sentence. It was a short one but she said it, nevertheless.

In light of Reimu relearning her language skills, Yukari's vomiting is slowly lessening. According to Yuuka, the vibrations were slowly vanishing. Since those vibrations had lingered for over a few days, it seems the Okuus were intend to cause a severe megadeath and severe amount of destruction. It didn't kill us all but I wonder what will become of us and future generations in this wasteland left behind.

* * *

"Come one you, pass the bottle!"


	19. Bottle Talk

Well, there is only one bottle of fine liquor and Mokou, Kaguya, Yuyuko, and I opted to share it. As usual, Yuyuko was going on and on about Seija the Mofo. Mokou, Kaguya, and I ain't amused by the fact that someone other than Yuyuko ate most of the food. Honestly, of all the things that mofo had to do, why did eatin' the food be one of them? Bitch. Anyway, that day, she spoke of killing the little fucker. "Ya can't be serious, Yuyuko." Mokou said, passing the bottle to Kaguya, to which Yuyuko said, "But I am and that little fucker is only going to cause more trouble and that is all she really does."

I blinked and said, "Okay, well, um, um, ya' know what? You're right, all she really did do was create trouble! I mean we've just been Okuu'd and is living in the aftermath of it and are tryin' to survive and there she goes and messes it up." Kaguya nodded, passed the bottle to me, and said, "Uh-huh, that is all she's done."

"Exactly! I mean, if she is going to stay, then we may as well kill her and use her for food."

"Hmm, I wonder what she would taste like."

"Eh, she'd probably be kinda um, well, tough to eat, Kagu."

"Maybe she'll make a nice soup."

"Hmm, I think she'll taste better barbecued."

"See? That motherfucker is better off as food for the rest of us but, no, it's a first time offense. "First time offense" my ass!"

"So we can't kill her because what she did Yuuka considers a first time offense?"

"That's bullshit! Yuuka can be too nice but what Seija did_** IS**_ worth a punishment."

"Damn straight."

"I know one thing, Seija will do something that will get her punished once and for all."

* * *

_"No, suffocate you!"_


	20. I'll see you in hell

One night, I heard the troublemaker try to brainwash me into killing the remainders of my sanity. My little Reimu, Ran's babies, Chen, and little Shimmy are the only thing that makes the world worth living while it is in this state and she was using my love of them against me. No, this couldn't stand. "Oh, listen, Yukari, they won't be any more than a burden and they will only suffer, so you would be doing what is best for them by taking that pillow and putting them out of their misery." I knew what she wanted and, just as I almost did what she wanted me to, I turned around, holding the pillow in my hands, saying, "No, suffocate you!" Before she had time to register what it was I was to do, I had leapt onto her, holding the pillow on her face, slowly watching her go limp and white. I had to eliminate this monster once and for all. Just as she was dying, as her last breaths were being taken from her, I was caught in the act was forced to stop. I wanted to see her die, I just wanted to and she needed to die.

When Yuuka inquired on what I was doing, I told her the absolute truth and demanded punishment for the inexcusable. Yuuka then declared that there will be punishment but it will be done fairly and once she has been resuscitated. We voted and decided that, if we are to keep peace, then she should leave. Seija snickered and said, "Alright, I promise I'll go and never return." Yuyuko and I would not be sated and raised hell against about it, Yuyuko saying, "Bullshit! You let her get away with eating half of the food and using our water as bathwater and she's done a whole lotta messed up shit before like causing a car accident, leaving that entire road a blood bath, that one time she caused like over six people to fall off of a bridge, and that one time she blew up some gas stations. Bullshit! I say you let me kill her ass because she is going to do is cause more trouble should she be allowed to live." Ran, cradling the babies Seija tried to trick me into killing, said, "Okay, since we are not kill her, then we should we should cut off her arm at the elbow to ensure she won't return and her chances at survival diminished, also to make a stew." Of course, we'd know she would come right back, so I demanded ALL of her limbs be severed. When I had mentioned the notion of doing so, Yuuka answered, "Now, now, dears, one arm should be enough."

Ran sighed and said, "The only way to keep peace and for her to never come back, so the only way to ensure that is cut off all of her limbs and gap her far enough away OR cut off one limb and send her far enough away." Naturally, we were divided on how to go about it and and who was to carry out punishment. We voted again and, as we were voting, Koishi suggested we "ask Reimu", Sattie stating, " Reimu will more than likely go to one or the other and whichever she picks will be our choice." I opened up a gap and Yuyuko sat down a knife, Koishi placing Reimu between them. I instead of going to one or the other, Reimu had flopped over, apparently picking both. Of course, that sent us back to square one on how many limbs should be cut off. Ran stated it should be three limbs and a few fingers. We cut off her limbs and I prepared to gap her away.

As I was getting ready to gap her away, she said, "Heh, I was trying to help you all by eliminating what is less likely to survive and those children are less likely. Well, I'm off, bitch." Naturally, I responded, "I'll see you in hell." I sent her away and we were done with her forever.

* * *

"Yuuka, will you put make some tea?"

"We're little short on water."

"Is there any milk?"

"The only milk around here comes from Ran's strawberry creams and that is for her babies."

"Crackers?"

"No, dear, we're short on those, too."


	21. Hair of White and Tears to Snowflakes

According to Yuuka, we were short on some food and water. I was almost to tears. I was so hungry and thirsty my throat felt closed up. We did eat Seija's limbs in a stew but that was a little over month ago and good food is just a memory. I feel even worse because Chen, Ran, Ran's babies, and Reimu are just as hungry and need food more than I do. Sadly, Ran's milk supply is starting diminish, so she is losing the ability to feed her babies. All we have left is no more than measly cans of beer and cigarettes.

That isn't all, the air is starting to get even colder, meaning winter would be arriving soon and the rest of us are virtually doomed to starvation, adding to a higher death toll, then Huzi and I will be alone in this decrepit town. Meiling killed herself, Patchouli passed away of her health problems further complicated by the worsening times, Koishi is close to death, and Sakuya has gone into some catatonic state. As the air gets colder, any tears I shed turn into snowflakes as they hit the ground. Even Huzi, the phoenix who usually feels so warm, feels cold. Both the warmth from us seems to have faded. As time further went on, my hair grew back an icy white. I guess this is how Eirin felt around the time she committed suicide. She committed suicide in the winter.

In the end, Huzi and I sat in the same corner where our shadows were ingrained and where were where the bomb was dropped in pile of my snowflake tears.

* * *

"Reimu, my sweet, Mommy loves you very much and, because I love you, I have to go now."

"No! Come with!"

"I'll come back and Ran will take good care of you."


	22. Sorrow

I awoke to Reimu crying and reaching her arms out. I looked around and found and Yukari was gone. She didn't even leave a note or any sort of sign that she was even leaving or where she was going to, she just vanished. I wondered where it was she had gone to or why she had left and what will happen to her. My heart broke when I thought of the possibility that she might have left to die, freeing up resources. After that, Reimu needed something to cling to and took to clinging to anything she could get hold of and she never seemed to let go. The only thing she didn't cling to was her birth-mother. With barely any food, I really had nothing to feed them and had resigned my time to cuddling my babies, Reimu, my beloved, and Chen. We spent most of our time that way, with nothing else to do. Apparently, this is the beginning of the end and it seemed we were to die.

We waited awhile but there was no sign of Yukari. Maybe she really did leave to die and probably wanted to die alone. If that was the possibility for Yukari, then it would likely that any of us would go off and do the same. After awhile, the air felt even colder and, soon, snowflakes started to fall but there were still no signs of Yukari. In light of winter coming, Sakuya did come out of her catatonic state but was in an immense amount of sorrow. We all knew she wanted to die and wondered why it is she hadn't ended her life by this point. If she had, we would have understood her reasons. Of course, that would mean our numbers would be even lower than before but, then again, it isn't really doing her any good remaining alive just because those precious to her who have died would have wanted it. If anything, they wouldn't have wanted her to suffer but Sakuya still persists. I feel horrible for her and I can only wonder how much it is she suffers. In the end, we're all suffering just as much as she is. Sadly, I came to the realization that she, like Reimu's mother, wasn't to last very long because conditions would have been too harsh for them. Also, like Sakuya, Reimu's mother's hair started to fall out but Sakuya doesn't at all seem to be suffering from a fever or sore throat.

After awhile, I started to spend some periods of the day, sitting in Yukari's room, hearing her voice and responding to it.

_ "Good night, Ran..."_

Goodnight, Yukari, sweet dreams.

* * *

"I wonder, Yuuka?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think society is still intact?"

"No, dear."


	23. I do believe my heart has broken

I want nothing more than to offer some comfort to Sakuya but I doubt I really can. She is so sad and had lost just about everything she's had. Oh, it is even sadder knowing she wants something to live for and isn't really living for anything. Poor thing, she is. Without anything to really live for, she is no more than walking corpse with very little hair. Life is funny that way, really, and humans are such strange creatures. Nevertheless, I cannot help but to wonder how long she'll even last. She is but a human and her clock will stop someday. With conditions being so harsh as they are, there is a farely good chance that she'll die as soon as they are at their peak. Of course, she might die of the fallout disease or she might grow those things that Eirin called tumors or lesions, what have it.

In wanting something to live for, she started hold out hope for the no longer existant emergency services, even asking if society was even intanct. I felt awful telling her the truth but it would be cruel to deny her the truth. She was in tears afterwards and I felt horrible for crushing her hopes. I suppose it was cruel to crush her hopes and, yet, it would be crueller to withold the truth. I feel even worse crushing her hopes when she is searching for a reason to live. Crumbs! I almost forgot, where is on earth has Yukari gone to? According to Ducksie, she seems to have vanished and she didn't even tell anyone where she was going. It's not like her to leave and not tell anyone where she might be going, not during these times. Then again, she isn't right in the head, so she may have wandered off. No, this isn't like her at all. I am quite sure she will have told someone she was leaving and, if she had wandered off we will have already found her or she would have come back.

_Could it be that Yukari has left to die?_ No, she couldn't have, no, not her. She'd suffer pain and suffering along with or for us before she'd ever decide to leave us. Then again, with so little resources, maybe she just wanted to be one less mouth to feed. Oh, I do believe my heart has broken.

* * *

"Oh, hey there kid."

"Sukka."

"Come 'ere kid, you can sit with me for a long time."

"Mind if I sit here, too?"

"Sure, come 'ere, Chen."


	24. Sober, but Not Alone

I'm sober but I ain't not alone. Not this time. I don't mind being sober, so long as I'm not alone. It's cold outside but I'm fine. I have company and, no matter how cold it is, I always feel warms. Especially since Reimu and Chen are by my side. They haven't been feelin to happy, especially since fatass left. As we sat together, Chen asked me if fatass was gonna come back to which I responded, "Hmm, I don't know kid but I'm pretty sure she's gonna come back for ya's." I dried her tears with my hair, telling her that fat ass isn't that sort of person to leave without a reason and that she'll definately come back. I also told 'em I didn't know when she'll come back but when she does, things will be better. I knew deep within fatass was gonna come back and when she does, things will indeed get better.

_Can't wait to see ya' again, fatass._

* * *

"Big sister, Ran's crying out again."

"Yes, yes, she is."


	25. Ran's Cries and Sakuya's Thoughts

Day and night, we could hear Ran crying out for Yukari. Her cries were so full of anguish, the very sounds of a broken heart. I still wonder where is it Yukari has gone. I guess we'll never find out and we may never find out her reasons. She left without telling anyone where it was she was going or why she was leaving. Even though she is mentally unstable, she still will have told someone or, at least, gave a hint. Instead, she did neither. Still, that didn't stop Ran from crying out for her. I'm surprised Reimu isn't crying out for her but, then again, Reimu probably is in her heart. The more I heard and the more I thought about those cries, the more I felt my heart break. My heart isn't the only that is broken. Apparently, Koishi's is as well and her condition has slightly worsened.

If it wasn't Ran's cries I could hear, it was Sakuya's thoughts. She hardly had any but I can tell by her thoughts she is miserable. In reading her thoughts, I continued to hear,**_ "Live, you must live."_** There isn't any such thing as living if it means being no more than a shell. Sakuya, the once Perfect Elegant Maid, was now no more than a shell. In the end, we are all no more than shells when we there is no purpose to go on living without any sort of reason or when hope has been lost.

_I suppose that is the way things should be in the winter that enfolds._

* * *

_The world is_  
_without sunshine and the only season that_  
_became is winter_

_The world is at winter's mercy and it has no sunshine_

* * *

Hiya, there, I hope you enjoyed and I do thank you kindly. While story is a at a close, it will be continued in a new one, _Gensokyo 20XXIV: At Winter's Mercy and the World Without Sunshine, _where it chronicles their lives during a nuclear winter brought on by the aftermath of a nuclear war.


End file.
